HeartStrings
by killerbonesss
Summary: Her life was a mess of knots, and at the heart of the web, was him. And it was time to untie the very last heartstring. Cagalli x Athrun REWRITTEN (Previously: One Last Smile)
1. Chapter 1

The air was frosty and still, just like the many other winters in Orb. But something was different this time, there was a tiny breeze drifting through the air, a wind of change. Cagalli walked along the corridors of the Archangel, fingers trailing along the railings until she reached the very same spot where everything changed. Looking through the glass, she saw the breathtaking view of her country. Though ruined by war and still on the road to recovery, Orb was undeniably magnificent, a fortress of everlasting hope and strength. And that strength and responsibility now lay on the shoulders of Cagalli. It was also at this very same spot that he daringly held her in his arms, and they promised to protect each other. 'Were we only clinging on to each other because it was all we had left, or was it really out of love?' Cagalli thought, as she fingered the slight tan line where a beautiful ring once sat.

Continuing on her journey, she saw all the smiling faces of the Archangel crew, despite the gravity of the war they were in. They were all anxious to end this horrible episode of their lives and head home, into the warmth of their families. 'But where is my home now?' She asked herself melancholically. She once told herself that home was where he was, but then again, right now, was his home where she was?

Finally reaching the medic bay, her fingers lingered on the door, bracing herself for what was to come. The door slid open soundlessly, and Cagalli stood in the doorway. Meyrin, the red-haired, cheerful and youthful girl was sitting by Athrun's bedside. He was all wrapped up, it was quite a funny sight, if it weren't for his occasional flinches and winces due to the pain from his wounds. 'As usual I guess, throwing himself in danger's way,' Cagalli thought as she smiled to herself. His fist suddenly clenched into a tight ball as pain coursed through his body again, and Cagalli yearned to reach out and hold his hand, but that was no longer hers to hold.

The redhead had not noticed her presence as she continued to dab at Athrun's forehead with a wet towel to clean the beads of perspiration. Athrun looked tired and drained. After all, who wouldn't during the war? Meyrin was everything Cagalli wasn't. Meyrin was pretty, youthful, bright and wasn't tied down with duties. Meyrin had a family that Cagalli never had. Meyrin had a perfect childhood that Cagalli never had. Meyrin was perfect. Cagalli was rough, boy-like, and indecisive and was tied down with duties of a country that she called home.

Meyrin turned around to wash the towel when she noticed Cagalli standing at a corner, watching her. She gasped and dropped the towel she was holding. Cagalli smiled and walked over. She bent down and picked up the towel, then placing it in Meyrin's hand. "Remember to wash the towel. The floors are never clean," Cagalli said calmly.

She sat down on the chair next to Meyrin, her hands gently brushing Athrun's bangs from his forehead. Oh how she missed that feeling, but it was no longer hers to claim. "I still believe, Athrun. Do you?" Cagalli murmured to herself. Meyrin was puzzled by the older girl's statement, what did she believe in?

"After Athrun left for Zaft, he left me a promise. A promise that said he would be back, back with us. He told me that he would be back to fight with us. He's back, as what I can see, not in perfect shape, but back nonetheless. He's back to us. During the period of time when he was gone, my stand wavered. I made silly and foolish decisions. I nearly married Yunna. I made that silly decision because at that time, I fell back into that same dark hole. Kira and Lacus weren't here. My father was dead. All the ministers had gone over to Yunna. I was doubted to be the real representative.

I know what Athrun would say if he heard me saying this. He would tell me that I had him and Kira and Lacus. But he never understood what I meant. I wasn't supported by people I trusted. Kira and Lacus, although they don't admit it, had at one point lost their trust in me. Because I made silly decisions, I made people disappointed. Athrun, well, he wasn't with me all this while. Not physically, not mentally and not spiritually. He believed that I had lost, that I had gone and betrayed him.

I'm not finding excuses for myself. It's just a little something I wanted somebody to know. And sometimes, I fear this darkness within me will swallow me whole. When the both of you appeared on the Archangel, I wasn't surprised. I wasn't even one bit worried that Athrun got hurt. I wasn't hurt that he turned up with you. I was just… numb. I didn't know what to say. So I went back to where he first held me in his arms.

Then Kira and Lacus came over to me, telling me that Athrun was hurt badly and now in a coma. They asked me to go and see him, claiming that he needed me. I knew that that wasn't the truth. Athrun didn't need me then. So I simply told them that I would come over later. Kira was angry with me, he yelled at me, he shouted at me, he blamed me and then, he cried. Lacus didn't shout. She thought I was jealous of you. But I wasn't. She told me to give Athrun time. But I did not need to give him time. I had given enough, and I don't want anything in return," Cagalli paused, as Meyrin opened her mouth to say something.

"But aren't you angry? That Athrun had turned up with me? Wasn't it an act of betrayal to you after the relationship you two had?" Meyrin asked.

"It wasn't betrayal he showed me. It was the truth. I knew one day that this fantasy of mine would end. After the first war, he came back with me, because he was lost. He couldn't go back to Zaft and face the place he once called home. So he ran away from it, and I let him. I was selfish. I needed him so much more than anyone would know, he was my buoy. And me? I was his shelter to hide from the truth. I let him run, because that was the only way he'd stay with me. Then the second war came. He finally felt that he had to go back to Zaft. And then, he left. Those months without him, I tried to tell myself, he'll come back. He did, but not to me. Not anymore, because he doesn't need to run away anymore. You can give him all the things I could never give to him. He deserves that, I guess. He may never have loved me, but I did, and I still do. But that's not important anymore. He has you," Cagalli said shakingly, taking in a deep breath as she placed her hand on Athrun's cheek, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. She took off her necklace that had her ring on it and placed it around his neck, whispering something in his ear.

She stood up and turned to leave. Before she walked out, Meyrin asked, "When you said you still believe, what did you believe in?"

"I believe in love. Have a nice day," Cagalli said simply with a smile and stepped out.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi guys, I'm not sure if I want Cagalli to move on without Athrun, or try to move on but Athrun realizes that he still loves her and comes back to her. I really didn't like all the Cagalli bashing in Destiny, I mean come on, she doesn't deserve it. And Athrun is an ass. _

"Hey Kira," Cagalli greeted her brother as she sat down on the starboard with him. She set down her coffee and closed her eyes, taking in the fresh air. "You do realize that it's not nice to stare," Cagalli said casually, even with her eyes closed, she could feel Kira's gaze on her. "I've been to see Athrun, if that's what you're wondering."

Kira stared at his sister, she looked so carefree, like nothing mattered to her, even mentioning Athrun did not bring her tears. "You've changed," Kira stated simply.

"For the good? Or for the bad?" Cagalli asked as she turned her head towards Kira, with one eye opened.

"I don't know. Doesn't it matter to you that Athrun is hurt? Or the fact that he brought another girl with him?" Kira said angrily to his sister, sitting upright and staring at her. "He's back Cagalli! You should stay by his side, not bother about the war. You should!"

"Oh for god's sake, stop telling me what I should do. I know what I'm doing and I believe I know myself better than you do. Kira, I'm not that young and rash girl. I've changed, as you said," Cagalli said, closing both her eyes, and then taking a sip of coffee from her cup.

Kira swiped his hand harshly across her cup, causing her cup to fall from her hands and far towards the corner. She opened her eyes and sat upright too. "What is your problem?" Cagalli said, with no hint of anger in her voice.

"Cagalli! I don't know what you're doing! The man you love is lying in there, from a near death accident and there's another girl in there, tending to his every need. Shouldn't you just go and take that place instead of her!?" Kira said, shouting at his sister, standing up and glaring down at her.

"And break the poor girl's heart? Oh please Kira, you're not that thick are you?" Cagalli said, as she stood up too, drawing herself to full height. She was as tall as Kira now.

"And what about you? Sacrificing yourself for another?" Kira retorted.

"We all know what's best and what's not. He doesn't deserve to be alone, Kira, not after what he's been through. And he's never going to come back to me, not after everything I've done," Cagalli said firmly, her calmness irritating Kira.

"He's back isn't he? He's back now, hold on to him, Cagalli," Kira pleaded, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"He's back… But not to me. And I can't wait anymore, I've paid my dues," Cagalli smiled sadly at Kira. And in that moment, Kira understood. Cagalli was done hurting; she wanted to move on. He wrapped his arms around her and held her in a brotherly embrace, his hand reached to pat her on the head comfortingly, "I'll always be here."

With that, the tears that Cagalli had been trying to hold back flowed uncontrollably from her eyes.

"I just… I just miss him so much. And I keep telling myself that I'll move on, he deserves better. But it doesn't change the fact… the fact that I still love him," Cagalli cried softly, her voice muffled by her sobs. "Do you think I can move on?"

"Yes you can, and I'll be with you the whole way," Kira held her tightly in her arms, hoping the warmth and love of family will help her move on.


End file.
